I woke up to a gorgeous day today, but my feelings didn’t match the weather. I didn’t get a good night’s sleep last night after having another heated discussion with Immanuel. I was so enraged to my core that even Isabella’s happy disposition irritated me.
Immanuel is so convinced that there is nothing wrong with his spur-of-the-moment, inconsiderate actions. It was as if he wants to prove he does not need guidance. I am so furious I couldn’t change him and make him understand to see things my way.
Then I started having stomach pains and I discovered I have my menstruation. I opened my daily devotional given to me by mom’s angel friend, Tita Rose. On my bookmarked page where I left off before we left for our vacation, it read: “Faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see”. The writer was sharing a similar experience she was having with her child. As I read, I felt a release, a moment of understanding, and I realized my own narrow-mindedness and rebellion. I wanted so much for Immanuel to see things my way that I closed my heart and forgot to trust God.
Then I called my friend Paz and shared the experience. As the mother of Immanuel's girlfriend, and having teenagers of her own, we are both walking the same path and going through the same difficulties. She also shared similar experiences personal and otherwise. The conversation provided much needed additional comfort and enlightenment.
Please forgive my rebellion, for wanting things my way
Thank you for sending angel friends and for an uplifting book serving as a reminder.
Please give me the strength I so need to not give up on Immanuel and to have enough left to care for the rest of my children.
Please give Immanuel, myself, and my husband, the strength, patience and wisdom we need to understand each other.