Testimonial

presented at St. Paul UMC, Fremont, CA May 20, 2012
http://www.stpaulumcfremont.org/testimonial-imelda-phillips/

and submitted for Jul/Aug 2012 newsletter

photo by: Namu Williams Photography

When Ate Lolita Flores, our Bible study group leader, asked me to do a testimony, I tried to think of a reason why I couldn’t. But you see, that’s just the thing...when you are part of a Bible study group, the “I can’t” becomes “I can”.

So I thought I'd start with an introduction of myself before Christ (my “B.C.” life). I'm an only child, born and raised in the Philippines.  I grew up attending an all girls’ Catholic school so I can say I have always known OF Christ.  But my understanding of Him was confined to the usual "head" knowledge. Unfortunately we all know that mere head knowledge is not enough to get that deep joy and peace that only comes through a personal relationship with the Lord.

After my first year of college, we migrated to the US. The following month, I enrolled at a computer school in San Francisco where I met my husband who was my instructor. We got married the following year. Yes, it was fast and I was only 18 years old. And my husband will tell you (as he tells everyone) that I wrote him a note (on a Hello Kitty stationery) saying, “I came to America to find a blue eyed American with a Harvard education, and you’re it”. Looking back now, I can’t believe I did that. But you see back then, my motto was: “what Imelda wants, Imelda gets”. I’m telling you all this to make a point at how shallow my then mindset was.

We started our family right away. We are now blessed with four wonderful children. But as a very young wife and mother during my “B.C. life”, I was focused on the accumulation of wealth and I led a "trying-to-have-it-all" kind of lifestyle.   We moved several times in search of the bigger and better home.  But my level of happiness and satisfaction was all superficial.  There was no real deep joy and contentment. In other words, as Pastor Sun Hee so cleverly preached, I felt WEIRD rather than WIRED and FRIED rather FIRED.

Well my opportunity for that came in 2004 disguised in the form of financial difficulty. The kind of opportunity which, as Pastor Sun Hee described, took me from being bored, bland, and burnt-out to being bewildered, amazed and astonished.

In the spring of 2004, after 18 years of lucrative computer consulting business, my husband lost his major consulting contract and we also lost our entire savings. So there was no means to replenish the pot (no job), nothing to draw out from (no savings), and our eldest son was then entering College. For someone so focused on material wealth, I was in total despair and it brought me to my knees and I wrestled with God with my why, and how, and what questions. And in my “wrestling” came the beginning of my enlightenment and transformation.

Around that same time my mom met an “angel” in the person of Tita Rose Agana during one of her walks. Tita Rose became instrument of my spiritual journey. She introduced us to Ate Lolit Flores and the Fremont Bible Study Group. God started to slowly reveal Himself through the study of His Word.

I remember the very first verse that God impressed upon in my heart: “Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart” Psalm 37:4. Through the study of His Word, I slowly came to know the incredible love of God through Christ, giving way to a deep hunger and delight for His Word; and He started changing the desires of my heart.

My husband continued to be without a consulting contract for 2 years. In 2006 we were forced to sell one of our homes (the big one which I thought was my dream home). As I continued to delight in the Lord, my focus turned to HIS promises and the positive effects of my husband’s “joblessness”. I saw how it allowed my husband quality time with our children.

We ended up moving back into our smaller home, our then rental property. It was a Divine appointment that not only rescued and released me from a superficial and exhausting lifestyle (cleaning a big house is not all that fun; no wonder I felt “fried”), it turned out to be the best course of action after all. We sold our home for so much more than what it would have sold in the economy that followed, allowing us to purchase a home in Pismo Beach close to Cal Poly where our eldest son attended College.

It was there where He revealed to me the kind of life that He came for us to have, one that is overflowing with riches of the heart that nothing and no one can ever take away that causes us to get bewildered, amazed, and astonished, even in challenging times.

And it's only by spending time in His Word that I get to really know HIM and learn to hear His still, small voice, to release control, to “let go and let God, to “be still, and know that He is God. And a Bible study group allowed me that opportunity. I look forward to Fridays when our small group enjoys fellowship, sharing praises and burdens as we study and get filled by the Word of God. I love my small group and I am in awe of their unequalled and instant support. Like when I recently suffered a back pain. One quick text and they were all praying for me. And as if their prayers were not enough, they personally came to visit me to lay healing hands including healing massage…I am truly grateful.

I may not be where I need to be, but thank God I’m not where I used to be (as Joyce Meyer would often say in her messages). Through my Bible study group, I have come to enjoy quiet time, reading devotionals, and listening to inspirational talks, allowing me to continually take delight in the Lord.

In closing, and in conjunction with Pastor Sun Hee’s recent messages, through the study of God’s Word, the power of the Holy Spirit took me from feeling WEIRED and FRIED (from relying on my own powers and pursuing treasures on earth) to feeling WIRED and FIRED and having the courage in declaring the awesome love and saving power of God. Thanks be to God.

Desires of my Heart 2012

I always get amazed every time I'm able to accomplish something knowing full well it is beyond my self discipline. You know it's a "God thing" when something like that happens.

Pondering my goals/aspirations/intentions is one thing, but writing them and boldly declaring them for accountability, is another. I've always wanted to do it especially when I see my BFF, Cecile, boldly declaring hers on FB every start of a new year. But my self discipline gets in the way...you know, no time, etc., etc., excuses, excuses (maybe I should include "work on my procrastination" as one of my aspirations:) Well, our bible study group's work yesterday was to write down our short term goals. We even lifted up each other's goal(s) in prayer. So there....no more excuses! It's so obvious how God has been, and is always, working behind the scenes to give us the desires of our heart.

Here are the desires of my heart for the year 2012:

1.) Continue Quiet Time

• 6am-7am or after dropping off Isabella
• if possible mid-afternoon while waiting for Isabella at SFB
• before bedtime around 9:30pm-10:30pm

2.) Arrive on time at our weekly Fremont Bible Study Group (Fridays, 10:30am)

3.) Start a personal bible study with my BFF Cecile

4.) Collaborate an inspirational project with my BFF Cecile (FB page: Whispered Prayers From the Heart)

5.) Resume journalling (create inspirational blog - Too Blessed to be Stressed: Gifts of Motherhood and contribute it to our church's monthly newsletter

6.) Start exercise program with bible study friends twice a week

7.) Remain positive and content (I refuse to let the enemy steal my joy!)

So there you have it! I've finally declared my desires!:) Now will someone/anyone/everyone please hold me accountable?!:)

Psalm 37: 4 Take delight in the LORD,

and He will give you the desires of your heart.

The closer we get to God, the more our desires align with His will

Side note:

I think the last one on my list: Remain positive and content, may be the hardest to keep. Yes, in our own strength and by our own ability, we can't continuously keep positive and content in a fallen world. But when we put God's Word in our heart, when we lean on His strength and trust in His promises, we can!

.

The Apostle Paul said in

Philippians 4:12-14

New International Version (NIV)

¹² I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. ¹³ I can do all this through him who gives me strength.

Getting to Know Me

One of my spiritual mentors and angel on earth, tita Rose, is a contributor for St. Paul United Methodist Church newsletter. In her segment, Getting to Know You, she asked to feature my story for the month of December 2010.

Here are my answers to her interview questions:

1.Tell me about your family.
I’m a blessed only child to amazing parents. Most of you probably know my dear mom, Mila Sebastian. My beloved dad, Arnulfo Sebastian, went home to be with the Lord in 2001. In 2009 we welcomed my stepdad, Dennis Magcale, into our family.
I’m also a blessed full-time stay-at-home mom to 4 wonderful children (Phil 23, Immanuel 21, Ian 18, and Isabella 11) and wife to a loving husband (Russ) of 24 years.

2. I'm aware that you're privileged to be a stay-at-home mom. Do you have regrets about this arrangement?
I indeed consider it a great privilege and awesome gift being a stay-at-home mom. There are so many wonderful blessings brought about by full-time motherhood. I am very grateful for all the precious memories of our children’s growing up years that I was able to fully partake in....as team mom in baseball, assistant to my husband as den leader in cub-scouting, taekwondo coach, and ballet mom. Full time motherhood allows me to take Isabella to her daily training at SF Ballet, attend and volunteer at Nutcracker shows and accompany her at summer programs. All these are made possible because of the blessing of full time motherhood. Being a stay at home mom also enables me to fully guide my children in realizing their full potential. I am very proud and grateful to say that they all excel in their own respective callings. Best of all, they are all loving children, beautiful inside and out. So I can honestly say that I do not have any regrets.

3.Tell me about one life-changing or unforgettable moment in your life.
We all know that every person has his/her own stories of trials that make way for a change in one’s life. Some call these moments as “wake-up calls”. I like to call them “opportunities for transformation”. Mine came in the form of financial difficulty. Prior to my personal relationship with the Lord, I led a “trying-to-do-it-all and have-it-all” lifestyle. We kept up with the worldly standards of accumulating material wealth. We even moved several times in search of the better and bigger home. Then in 2004 came my opportunity for transformation....my husband lost his lucrative contract, our main source of income. To make a long story short, we were forced to sell one of our homes in 2006(the big one which I thought was my dream home). Though it was a very difficult decision at the time, I realize now that it was our amazing Lord God Almighty rescuing me from my superficial and exhausting lifestyle. Not only was I released from the chains of unsatisfying way of life, it was the best course of action (I’d like to call it “Divine Appointment”). We sold our home for so much more than what it would have sold in the economy that followed. And not only that...because of it, we were able to purchase a home in Pismo Beach close to Cal Poly. Amazing, don’t you think? Just exactly the way we know only God would and can do...the way He operates...amazingly perfect.

4.What's your favorite biblical passage and how does this impact your life?
I have a lot of favorite scriptures. But in line with my story of financial difficulty as my “opportunity for transformation”, Matthew 6:33 comes to mind: But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.
I also use this verse in my daily tasks. It reminds me to put God first as my top priority and a lot of unnecessary things just seem to naturally fall off my to-do list on their own.

5. How do you make use of your time?
This question brings to mind Proverbs 31: 27 - She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness. As a veteran home manager, I was able to establish daily/weekly routines that I try to follow in order to “watch over the affairs of our household”. I have to say that solitude is an important part of my daily rituals. It is logged in my schedule as “time with God”. I found that when I start my day with God, my entire day has direction. If I start feeling overwhelmed, I know I somehow neglected to include God (or if I forget, my angel daughter would sweetly remind me). I realized that the busier I am, the more I need to make time for God. The discipline of solitude enables me to make the best use of my time each day and is yet another blessing I’m grateful for.

6. How did you learn the discipline of solitude?
I was able get the training of the discipline of solitude when the Lord brought us to Pismo Beach. Little did I know that our move to Pismo Beach, which was then full of uncertainties, would become an essential part of my journey toward spiritual maturity. It was a beautiful place by the sea showcasing the grandeur of God’s creation thereby inviting daily contemplation and repose. It was there where I got the chance to get closer to the Lord. Away from the busy city life, I got the chance to cultivate the habit of not only starting and ending my day with God but also including Him in all I do. Talk about God’s amazing divine plan in turning what appeared to be a trial into an opportunity for transformation!

7. What makes you happy and what makes you sad?
My personal relationship with the Lord makes me happy and also all the blessings He has given me...full-time motherhood, family, friends, health, my bible study group....
When you have a personal relationship with the Lord, your perspective on sadness is different...like I said, I like to call them opportunities for transformation. But to answer your question, it makes me sad when my personal relationship with the Lord is not right because of something I did or did not do for His glory.

8. Who is a wise person in your life? Why do you think so?
The person(s) I consider wise are those who have a deep personal relationship with the Lord. And in my life, that would be the ones who brought me and continues to bring me closer to the Lord....tita Rose Agana and ate Lolit Flores, my spiritual mentors, angels, and bible study leaders. They are indeed wise individuals whose relationship with the Lord is not only personal or private but also communal as they share their wisdom and blessings to everyone they meet.

9.How do you want to be remembered by people around you?
I would love to be remembered by the people around me as someone who reflected the love of Christ. Someone whose smile, hug, words, welcomed them home to God’s love. It would be delightful to hear my children thanking God for a mother who lived the virtues she wanted to see in them.