presented at St. Paul UMC, Fremont, CA May 20, 2012
http://www.stpaulumcfremont.org/testimonial-imelda-phillips/
and submitted for Jul/Aug 2012 newsletter
When
Ate Lolita Flores, our Bible study group leader, asked me to do a
testimony, I tried to think of a reason why I couldn’t. But you
see, that’s just the thing...when you are part of a Bible study
group, the “I can’t” becomes “I can”.
So
I thought I'd start with an introduction of myself before Christ (my
“B.C.” life). I'm an only child, born and raised in the
Philippines. I grew up attending an all girls’ Catholic
school so I can say I have always known OF Christ. But my
understanding of Him was confined to the usual "head"
knowledge. Unfortunately we all know that mere head knowledge is not
enough to get that deep joy and peace that only comes through a
personal relationship with the Lord.
After
my first year of college, we migrated to the US. The following
month, I enrolled at a computer school in San Francisco where I met
my husband who was my instructor. We got married the following year.
Yes, it was fast and I was only 18 years old. And my husband will
tell you (as he tells everyone) that I wrote him a note (on a Hello
Kitty stationery) saying, “I came to America to find a blue eyed
American with a Harvard education, and you’re it”. Looking back
now, I can’t believe I did that. But you see back then, my motto
was: “what Imelda wants, Imelda gets”. I’m telling you all this
to make a point at how shallow my then mindset was.
We
started our family right away. We are now blessed with four
wonderful children. But as a very young wife and mother during my
“B.C. life”, I was focused on the accumulation of wealth and I
led a "trying-to-have-it-all" kind of lifestyle. We
moved several times in search of the bigger and better home. But
my level of happiness and satisfaction was all superficial. There
was no real deep joy and contentment. In other words, as Pastor Sun
Hee so cleverly preached, I felt WEIRD rather than WIRED and FRIED
rather FIRED.
Well
my opportunity for that came in 2004 disguised in the form of
financial difficulty. The kind of opportunity which, as Pastor Sun
Hee described, took me from being bored, bland, and burnt-out to
being bewildered, amazed and astonished.
In
the spring of 2004, after 18 years of lucrative computer consulting
business, my husband lost his major consulting contract and we also
lost our entire savings. So there was no means to replenish the pot
(no job), nothing to draw out from (no savings), and our eldest son
was then entering College. For someone so focused on material wealth,
I was in total despair and it brought me to my knees and I wrestled
with God with my why, and how, and what questions. And in my
“wrestling” came the beginning of my enlightenment and
transformation.
Around
that same time my mom met an “angel” in the person of Tita Rose
Agana during one of her walks. Tita Rose became instrument of my
spiritual journey. She introduced us to Ate Lolit Flores and the
Fremont Bible Study Group. God started to slowly reveal Himself
through the study of His Word.
I
remember the very first verse that God impressed upon in my heart:
“Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of
your heart” Psalm 37:4. Through the study of His Word, I slowly
came to know the incredible love of God through Christ, giving way to
a deep hunger and delight for His Word; and He started changing the
desires of my heart.
My
husband continued to be without a consulting contract for 2 years.
In 2006 we were forced to sell one of our homes (the big one which I
thought was my dream home). As I continued to delight in the Lord,
my focus turned to HIS promises and the positive effects of my
husband’s “joblessness”. I saw how it allowed my husband
quality time with our children.
We
ended up moving back into our smaller home, our then rental property.
It was a Divine appointment that not only rescued and released me
from
a superficial and exhausting lifestyle (cleaning a big house is not
all that fun; no wonder I felt “fried”), it turned out to be the
best course of action after all. We sold our home for so much more
than what it would have sold in the economy that followed, allowing
us to purchase a home in Pismo Beach close to Cal Poly where our
eldest son attended College.
It
was there where He revealed to me the kind of life that He came for
us to have, one that is overflowing with riches of the heart that
nothing and no one can ever take away that causes us to get
bewildered, amazed, and astonished, even in challenging times.
And
it's only by spending time in His Word that I get to really know HIM
and learn to hear His still, small voice,
to release control, to “let go and let God, to “be still, and
know that He is God. And
a Bible study group allowed me that opportunity. I look forward to
Fridays when our small group enjoys fellowship,
sharing praises and burdens as we study and get filled by the Word of
God. I love my small group and I am in awe of their unequalled and
instant support. Like when I recently suffered a back pain. One
quick text and they were all praying for me. And as if their prayers
were not enough, they personally came to visit me to lay healing
hands including healing massage…I am truly grateful.
I
may not be where I need to be, but thank God I’m not where I used
to be (as
Joyce Meyer would often say in her messages). Through
my Bible study group, I have come to enjoy quiet time, reading
devotionals, and listening to inspirational talks, allowing me to
continually take delight in the Lord.
In
closing, and in conjunction with Pastor Sun Hee’s recent messages,
through the study of God’s Word, the power of the Holy Spirit took
me from feeling WEIRED and FRIED (from relying on my own powers and
pursuing treasures on earth) to feeling WIRED and FIRED and having
the courage in declaring the awesome love and saving power of God.
Thanks be to God.
